'One victim is too many': Domestic Violence & Religion

Every day, millions of people are directly impacted by domestic violence.

According to the United Nations, domestic abuse — or “intimate partner violence” — is defined as “a pattern of behavior in any relationship that is used to gain or maintain power and control over an intimate partner.” This can be physical, sexual, emotional, economic, psychological or spiritual actions or threats of actions used to “frighten, intimidate, terrorize, manipulate, hurt, humiliate, blame, injure, or wound someone.” 

Domestic abuse can happen to anyone of any race, age, sexual orientation, gender or religion.

In the context of domestic violence, religious actors and institutions can both help and harm — but they are not neutral.

On the one hand, studies have shown how religion can be, and often is, used to condone, excuse or enact abuse. On the other hand, religious teachings and communities can provide significant resources for victims as they address abuse. Within religious communities, victims find support or counseling relationships as well as texts, teachings and rituals that provide protection, guidance or succor in the process of healing.

In this updated edition of ReligionLink, we provide resources, links, tips and potential sources to help inform your reporting on religion and domestic abuse. 

Spiritual Abuse: What is it? How do we address it?

“I experienced spiritual abuse while serving as an intern for a church,” Keagan said.* “Specifically, I experienced frequent bullying from the pastor and on occasion, members of his staff. The thing that still haunts me is how they justified the way they treated me; they would say in the smuggest and condescending way, ‘This is ministry,’ as if I shouldn't expect better treatment somewhere else.”

He said, “I have never felt totally healthy in a church since.”

This is just one of the stories that I heard while researching a piece on “spiritual abuse” for Christianity Today.

At the heart of the article is the debate over what “spiritual abuse” is, whether or not it should be a distinct category from other forms of abuse, and how that might impact church practice and religious freedom in places like the UK.

Despite the fervor of the conversation, all the stories reminded me that — whatever we call it — abuse is a far too common occurrence in religious communities.

Stories like Keagan’s are not isolated, nor are they specific to Christian churches. Muslims, Hindus, Jews, and many others have experienced “spiritual abuse.” Perhaps the debate over its definition and delineation can help us begin to address it — across religious boundaries — in substantive and sustainable ways.

I invite you to read the article at Christianity Today to be a part of the conversation.

*Keagan’s name has been changed to protect his identity, at his request.