Why does dialogue often fail? People just don't care

When I was in high school, I basically dated my way through the world’s religions.  

My first girlfriend was Wiccan. I dated a Buddhist. I was consistently invited to attend dances at the local stake of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. I even went out with a Methodist! 

Beyond my romantic relationships, my friends were Jewish and evangelical, Muslim and atheist, as well as many traditions between and beyond.​

It was these relationships that motivated me — a Lutheran raised in a decidedly non-ecumenical denomination — to study religion and connect with people across deep differences. 

You could say I was intrinsically motivated to (ahem) figure these relationships out. 

Inspired, I became an ordained pastor and sought to lead congregations and communities in interreligious dialogue in New Zealand, South Africa, the U.S., and Europe.  

What I came to realize along the way is many people simply weren’t as motivated as me. No matter my fancy degrees, slick PowerPoint slides, or authentic relationships with people of other faiths, many folks I invited to join me just didn’t care as much as I did. 

This motivational divide is what I came to call the apathy gap.