I confess, I’m a Millennial church curmudgeon.

Of course, the stereotypical image of a “church curmudgeon” is the bad tempered elderly man, arms crossed, complaining about how the music is too loud and the pews too soft.

And then there’s me. Donning a bow tie and skinny jeans, with dark-rimmed glasses and a pair of loafers, I strut into your church with one mission — to judge you and your ministry. I’ll nit pick your artwork, or lack thereof. I’ll chastise you for not having online giving and pontificate to my friends over brunch how your church is from the Stone Age because your website isn’t up-to-date. And, fair warning, if your slides are just one second off…sorry, but that’s tantamount to undoing the work of the cross.